Stevens, Ginger L.


4:52 PM (3 hours ago)







to me










   Ya know…  we really are  not taught the basis of how to live our lives.  Not really.   Yes, we are taught to feed ourselves,  to bathe and how to get along in school.   Many of us are even taught basic concepts of religion and how to relate to our creator.  For whatever reason —  We are born, live and die without any certifiable  information directly from our creator on why we are here and what we are to do with the life we are given.   Something about free will.

   There are many writings and books that are claimed to be straight from the creator, but time has proved the hands of man within these writings.  I will not say that parts of these writings are not divinely inspired.   The problem is that men with power, and less than divine intentions have had influence over the arranging, translation and editing of these writings.   The threat of death, of the eternal death of the soul  is a mighty “carrot “ to hold over our superstitious ancestors of whom, many were not taught to think for themselves, but only follow the leadership of their “betters”.   Even the royalty were held under the sway of the Church and were convinced that they could not think adequately on matters of religion.  They also feared to lose the existence of the eternal soul.

   This leaves us in a situation where it is time to rethink the matter of our relationship to our creator, our souls and how this effects our lives.  I will never say I have all of the answers.  I am not perfect, nor my mind the quickest, nor my IQ in the line with folks like Einstein or the Dali Lama.  I am simply someone who has struggled with the concept of my soul, and the relationship to the creator for most of my life.  I have never been able to accept the easy answers .   I have always felt there was more to the answers that I was questing for.    For whatever reason understanding our psyche, our soul and minds and how the work together, has been a lifelong  calling for me.   I have meditated, done yoga, tai chi, danced, and read.  I have delved into all of the major religions by the way of books.  In some cases I have participated directly with different religions, denominations, and faiths.   I have taken the “ all roads lead to Rome” method of finding the Creator.

     I have decided to start this blog to share my thoughts with my children and my grandchildren, but if it benefits anyone else; that’s all good too.   Sometimes this will be my thoughts on a book or books and sometimes it will be a rant.  Maybe this is just for me, a place to put my thoughts to help me makes sense of them.   While I want to help my children think about these concepts, and hopefully pass this on to my grandchildren, (either through my children explaining to them, teaching them or they may in the future read this for themselves) – I know by putting this on  a blog others may read this.  I have been through many “crisis of faith” through this process, and I know what this can do to you.  When you have a concept that is a cornerstone of your life pulled away, you will be left feeling that nothing makes sense and the concrete ground of your life turns to quicksand.  Emotionally you find yourself in free-fall, and you begin to reach out to grab anything that will help you  stabilize.  It is not pleasant,  I know this from experience.  Sometimes it takes months or years to stabilize completely.  Many times you have to consciously rebuild  – brick by brick, that cornerstone into something that makes sense to you.     So this is my Disclaimer.   If this writing touches you and “ rocks your world,” I have warned you.  I know mine has been “rocked”,  (good and bad) several times over my lifetime.  I will say, while you may be aware of what is going on, it is never an easy process.   But, it is a part of growth, spiritual and other wise .


       We all have cornerstones that we put in place in our consciousness.  These are our concepts that we declare as absolute truths in our lives.   Who our parents are, where our family and home is ,  who your God is and it’s nature.  These sort of things.  As we grow older we add to these.. and it is when something changes in our lives that these come at risk.  I believe that how we build these structures  also determines  how if something changes, how we react or respond.   Did we build that concept as an absolute or “ subject to change.”    If we have a concept that our parents are “Mr. and Mrs. Jones,” and sometime in your life you find out you are adopted  — your world is going to feel very unstable until you are able to get some solid concepts in place.   If however  your adopted parents lovingly told you that you were adopted from early childhood,   and then later in life you find out more details, then you are less likely to have such a devastating blow to the foundations of your psyche.


    This is a journal of a seeker’s quest.   In some cases I am tilting windmills, I am sure.  I am sure I am hunting for treasure that may not exist.   In the end, I may even find out that everything I have found, every treasure, every goal, every concept was false or an illusion.   I am afraid that the only confirmation of our  assumptions may be our own death.   Dependent upon the beliefs you hold – that may be too late to make any changes.   By making this public,  I wonder if I am risking my own karma, and my own ego is in the way, telling me that I need to do this to help my children and the future generations in turn. We all want to leave something.  My hope is to leave a better world in producing  people that understand themselves, and themselves in relation to Creator and the Universe.   My argument will always be;  is this a practical path for everyday people who have jobs,  families and life responsibilities.  You should not have to train to be clergy  or live on a mountain to have a relationship with Deity.  ( In whatever form Deity may take for you. )  You should  have direct access to Creator no matter if you are  a mother with small children, or  a busy person with jobs, family and hobbies you enjoy.  We all have to support ourselves,  feed ourselves and our families.   We cannot give up our jobs, ignore our families in the pursuit of a relationship with Creator. 


   I will also relate that the conclusions I have reached are for me… and me alone.   Sometimes, these answers may be yours as well, but not necessarily.   You may need to spend time in prayer and meditation to find your own answers.   Or in  reading and studying to find yours.  I am only showing you how I have found MY Answers.  This is why I feel that many of the inspired books of Wisdom and History, applied to the people who they were inspired to… not necessarily to us.   Do not look for one TRUTH.  Be happy to find lots of little TRUTHS.   If it was really that easy to whittle all of life into ONE TRUTH   — Someone would have completed this task years ago. 


   You will also find amazingly that I still hold with some core Christian beliefs and refer back to them often.  No one would ever believe that I am so “ main stream” in my beliefs.   But, that was what I was raised with and what my foundation was started on.  Over time there has been reason to change much of the foundational beliefs, but when it was not necessary  — I have left them alone.   We all start somewhere   — I was raised in the Church.  ( I was in attendance when I was a week old. )


    There is one basic concept I need to reveal to you..   I am a work in progress.    I may tell you the sky is Blue in  March and  Rainbow colored in  April .  It will reflect my experiences and what makes sense to me at that time.  I will always be in a state of change  or at least I hope to be.   As long as I am in Learning Mode  — I will be open to change and to change my beliefs and concepts.  I encourage you to do the same.  The moment you think you know it all and have nothing more to learn and cannot grow and change, you are as good as dead.  You will also be cutting yourself off from  a lot of Joy, for I found a lot of my Joy in learning new things.


My To do list  —  Pick up Painting – Acrylics  I think. 

 Finish my “ Nest” ,  Mow the yard .  Start reviewing the recently read books.

Start on the Jewelry in process.

Today is  September  10th   2012 and it is a beautiful day.   Lovely Blue Sky, puffy clouds – Probably a high of about  80 degrees with fairly low Humidity.